Spiritual Authority

I have been thinking a lot lately about the spiritual authority I have as a father in the life of my child. It's not something I hear preached or spoken about very much in the church. Of course we have authority in general over our children, authority to choose for them what they will wear, or eat, or do (or not do), where they go to school, even to some degree which friends they will have and who they interact with. We also have authority to shape them through discipline and teach them how to grow up into an adult step by step; to teach them values and morals and faith. This is all well and good, truly good.

But what I don't hear spoken very much, if at all, is the authority we have as fathers and parents, to stand in our children's place in the spiritual realm before God and against Satan. The one place I hear this dealt with is during infant baptism when parents take the spiritual authority to make a decision for Christ for their children. It is done with the understanding that one day that child must make their own decision either for or against Christ (hopefully for), but for as long as the parents' authority extends they will submit this child to Christ's will. Then we go on with our lives, assuming we've done the right thing, and that's that, and we trust Christ for the rest (if I sound accusatory I'm only accusing myself - the "we" in this case being a "royal" we).

However, it was brought home to me recently that my spiritual authority in the life of my daughter doesn't end with choosing to baptize her. You see, I struggle with masturbation and fantasy. It is something my wife and I have dealt with many times in our marriage, and I know that it affects her and hurts her. I had been doing well for a while, but then a few days ago I did it again. At first, I didn't want to deal with it, didn't want to tell her about it, so I kept it to myself. Now, my wife has noticed in the past that usually when I masturbate, I have really bad nightmares until I deal honestly with it, which was the case this time as well. I know many of you will scoff, saying I have nightmares because of unresolved guilt or something. But I truly believe that my masturbating gives Satan a foothold into my life, and that my nightmares are at least partly his doing. What struck me this time, however, is that, without exception, for four days every single time I startled awake from a nightmare, heart thumping in terror, my daughter woke up crying or screaming.

I might have dismissed it as a coincidence (she's been teething and sick), were it not for the consistent timing of it. What really amazed me, though, was that a couple of days ago I finally dealt with what I had done. I confessed and repented before the Lord, and then my wife. My wife and I talked it through (it took a while) until she forgave me and we made up :) And since then? My daughter's slept like a baby the whole night through, without waking up at all - as have I.

On the positive side, I pray with my daughter every night as I'm putting her to sleep. Now when she was a bit younger, and I was still learning how to pray for her, I would not always be very specific - I'd pray that the Lord would bless her and protect her, etc. Good stuff, and things I think the Lord honored. As babies are wont to do, she often woke up in the middle of the night when she was teething or sick, and I would have to wake up with her to take care of her. I just assumed, at first, that this was a natural part of parenting. One time, after several nights of sleeplessness, in sheer desperation for sleep and rest, I prayed at bedtime that God would help ease her teething pain during the night and help her to sleep the whole night through, without waking up. What happened? She slept the whole night through without waking up at all. Coincidence? Maybe, but I don't think so. Ever since then I've made that a specific part of our bedtime prayers. But sometimes I forget, and it doesn't get prayed, and she wakes up in the middle of the night. Then I will remember the next night and she'll sleep the whole night through again. That has happened often enough that I can't believe it's just a matter of chance.

Does God act directly and specifically in our lives and the lives of our children? Do we have the authority to ask Him for intervention in the stead of our children? Do we have spiritual authority both for good and for evil in the lives of our children? Do our actions, not just our prayers, have spiritual effects on our children? I would answer yes to all of those! And after my recent experience with sin and forgiveness, it is more important than ever to me that I stand in obedience to God, not just for myself, but to protect the spiritual and physical life of my wife and daughter as well.

(Photograph by Ian Britton)